The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
