Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
