dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
