I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
