I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
