are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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