She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
