"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
