i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
