If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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