i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
