I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
