guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
