Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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