you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
