But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
