She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
