Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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