i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
