Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
