I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
love makes seman taste better
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
