you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
