I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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