gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
