Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
