No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
