Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
