spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
