So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She told me I should be a condom model.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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