You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
