you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
this hospital has no fireball
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
