I must be too annoying 4 u.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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