something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
