I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this just has baby written all over it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
