you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
