Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize
