i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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