NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
