do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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