My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Umm I'm too high to move.
i think my mom watched the whole time
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
