people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
God, I missed his penis.
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