ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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