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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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