i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
