we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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