Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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