8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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