I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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