Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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