I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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