I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
