Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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